Why couples cheat on each other- No 5 reason

5. Vengeance is another deadly reason spouses cheat on themselves and this is most common among the wives (sorry to say). Wives become revengeful when they have being hurt, wounded, abused, disvalued, mistreated and bastardized by their husband and they want to get back at their husbands at all cost due to the root of bitterness that had sprung up as a result of the hurts. Sometimes because they just want to “show” their husband or get even with them you see such wives cheat on their husbands. They give up on their marriage vows, throw caution to the wind and allow the devil to take the better part of their reasoning. The greatest enemy of love in marriage is un-forgiveness. One area spouses should be very alert in their union is the area of un-forgiveness and vengeance. When it comes to forgiveness in marriage we, as the offended spouse should keep on forgiving. It is only in the marital union you may be offended 490 times according to the answer Jesus gave Peter. But do you know that marriage is a union of two great forgivers and not two great lovers? Relationships that are outstanding grow on forgiveness and not on perfection! Whatever might be the offence of your spouse, forgive and do not think of revenge. I’m sure his or her offence might be great but please still do forgive, that is the only way you can have inner peace and also save your marriage.

THE EFFECT OF VENGEANCE
Couples who harbour un-forgiveness against each other hardly do anything good together. The only place where prayer of agreement works faster is within the home of the married, because your husband or wife is your divinely appointed permanent prayer partner. With un-forgiveness in a home spouses retard the growth and progress of that marriage and the relationship. It is in such homes you see lack of productivity, hostility, unfruitfulness and barrenness. In-fact children from such homes are rarely happy.

SOLUTION
Do not keep records of wrong, God only forgive your trespasses to the degree you forgive your partner, when you do not release him or her, God allows the devil also to hold you in captivity; until you forgive you are not forgiven, period! Mind you, you do not have right of ownership on vengeance or revenge; only God has it, and that is why he said vengeance is mine. The heaviest load any spouse can carry is grudge, but if you quit nursing grudge it will surely die. The moment you make up your mind to cheat on your spouse because you think you want to pay him back, the devil has gotten the better part of your home and life. He knows the game and he plays it smarter than you, when you give him an inch he goes a mile, he will definitely help to destroy your home more than the access you think you gave him; he comes to kill, steal, and destroy and you will DEFINITELY be the loser on the long run.
Remember the song, "Forgive, don't let it live..."

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Why couples cheat on each other - No 4

4. Outright denial of marital dues: can lead to either of the spouses cheating on each other. When a spouse is denied of love, affection, appreciation and sex, due to one flimsy excuse or the other; there is a possibility of seeking for such outside the home. The bible never support spouses denying themselves their marital rights, it rather states that we do not have right of ownership over our bodies when it comes to sex.

Even in the event of fasting and prayer, it must be mutually agreed and the consent of your partner must be sought to avoid sex. Do not allow sex, affection and understanding become an essential or scarce commodity in the home, as there is a likelihood of searching for such outside by all means; because, really, they are essential commodities. Just like air, water and food, they are things we need so as to grow, things that we cannot do without.

SOLUTION
Human beings are products of love and respond to affectionate gestures. Do not argue that you are not romantic or it is not in our culture, learn to appreciate your spouse in little or big things they do, it is a beautiful action of growth in marriage. Learn to display love and affection at unexpected times. Learn to “out-love” your spouse even when it is obvious they do not deserve to be loved, it is a magic that works wonder. Do not be heady when it comes to learning for change. Do not deliberately hoard money, let there be a free flow of money between both of you, even in case of obvious short supply let there be a display of honesty and sincerity; so that temptation may not arise for the weaker partner. Spouses should not dogmatically display right ownership on money, nor should couples personify properties, for instance when a spouse says “you can’t enter my car’’, or “if you are not pleased you can leave my house”, or “don’t touch my television set” etc. Nor should they have the habit of buying things in their names only or in the names of their parents, this goes a long way to negatively affect the other party; producing a sense of “I don’t think I belong here.”

We recommend you read the book "5 Love languages" by Gary Chapman. It is available in the bookshops around. Or order through us by sending a mail to healmymarriage@gmail.com.

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